Sexy no Neji
by NejiKikyoAnimeRose
Summary: The title is self explanatory. This is nothing but pure wackiness on my part, though there is some yaoi. But what else does anyone expect from my fics?


"Aw, come on, Neji!" Naruto urged.

"Yeah, Neji, we all did it, too!" Kiba agreed. Neji scowled and drained his sake.

"No," he said firmly. Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"You're never gonna get out of this place until you do it," he said bluntly. "Just get it over with." Shikamaru chuckled, amused grin on his face.

"Even I want to see how this is going to turn out," he drawled. Chouji smirked and nodded.

"Come Neji, my youthful companion!" Lee boomed. "I have every belief that you will have the youthful passionate beauty that you do even now!! But you will never find out. Unless. You. TRY!!" The Hyuuga glared at his companion and shook his head.

"_No_, Lee," he refused. "You're already pushing your luck as it is. There is no way in hell that I will do _that_." Kiba sighed loudly.

"Come on, Hyuuga, just do it!" he whined, annoyed. "Or I'll sic Shino on you." Shino only raised a brow behind his shades. Neji glared at Kiba.

"No." Kiba pouted and Naruto huffed.

"Neji," he said in an irritated voice. "This is just plain annoying now. Just _do it!_" Neji simply arched a brow at the blonde. Sasuke chuckled and shook his head. Chouji looked from Neji to Naruto, a smirk on his face.

"Why not try it, Neji," Shino suggested calmly. "It's not so bad." There was silence and Neji looked at Shino. Shino looked at Neji. Everyone looked at each other.

"Fine," Neji conceded. Naruto's jaw dropped.

"Wait, so we say, 'come on, you'll be great' about ten thousand times, and you say 'hell no,' and he says 'it's not so bad' _once_ and you say, 'okie-dokie!' Where's the justice in that!?" he cried indignantly. Neji shrugged.

"I have no idea," he admitted. "Now do you want me to do this or not? Because if you don't shut up right this instant, I can assure you that I won't." He gave Naruto his signature Hyuuga Glare of Death and the Uzumaki shut up. Neji nodded approvingly and made several hand signals. All breaths were held as the whole group watched.

Time seemed to slow as Neji was surrounded by smoke and disappeared in a white haze. Naruto strained his eyes to see, whining disappointedly for a moment, and even Sasuke kept flashing his gaze over to the cloud of white, trying to hide his interest.

There was a ringing silence as the cloud began to clear. Kiba, who had the best view, froze. His jaw dropped and his eyes widened. His hand immediately flew to his nose. Naruto watched him confusedly for a second and then turned his gaze back to Neji. He froze, his jaw dropped and his eyes widened. His hand, though, didn't quite make it to his nose before a quick flash of red appeared. Sasuke was the next to go. Then Shikamaru, then Chouji, then Lee and last of all, Shino.

Before them all stood Hyuuga Neji, master of the Byakugan, nephew of the esteemed head of the Hyuuga clan. Naked. Fortunately, smoke was still covering his…_intimate parts_. He looked down at himself and arched a brow.

"Nothing's changed," he said bluntly. "Aside from the fact that I'm not clothed, there's nothing about me that's been altered." Naruto looked at him in awe.

"You've _always _had that body?" he marveled. Neji nodded slowly. Naruto shook his head.

"_Damn…_" he breathed out.

Neji huffed and reached for a blanket that sat over the back of Naruto's couch. Just as the last of the smoke disappeared, he managed to secure it about his waist.

"Isn't this jutsu supposed to turn you into a woman, or something?" he asked confusedly. Naruto shut his gaping mouth, only to have it fall open again and dumbly shook his head. Sasuke blinked and took a breath, inwardly berating himself for being so affected by the sight before him. Shikamaru, unsurprisingly, was the one who spoke up.

"I think," he said in a slightly wavering voice. "This jutsu is supposed to make a person 'sexy' in comparison to their current appearance. Neji must've been 'sexy' enough as it is and the jutsu only did what was required to make him 'sexier' and that was remove his clothes." The others nodded dumbly, not really registering what the Nara said, and continued to gawk at Neji. The Hyuuga, in a surprising twist, put his hands on his hips, shifted his weight to one foot and smirked.

"So…" he drawled in that sensual voice of his. "I'm not the only one here who's gay as the color pink, then?" The room, at that moment, was filled with blushing shinobi all trying to avoid each other's eyes. Neji laughed.

"Well, this is interesting," he mused amusedly. "Sasuke and Kiba, I expected, but Shikamaru? Shino? That's a surprise." He smirked at the two addressed and almost toppled over laughing at their expressions.

"_Please_!" Naruto shouted, never one to know when to give in. "I'm not _gay_!" He tried to muster up a glare, but the small trail of blood running from his nose ruined the effect.

"Oh?" Neji asked coyly, turning to face Naruto posing in a rather seductive way. "_Really, _Naruto? You're not? Well, then…" Smirking like the Cheshire Cat, Neji walked smoothly and gracefully over to the Uzumaki, who was frozen in his chair, blue eyes wide and on the Hyuuga. His breathing was rather heavy and Neji had to fight not to laugh. Neji was quite aware of the effect his actions were having on _others_ in the room as well and couldn't help but feel rather proud of himself.

As soon as he was close enough, Neji leant over and placed his hands on the arms of Naruto's chair, peering amusedly at the blonde, who was pressing himself as far back in the chair as he could go. Chuckling softly, Neji straightened, taking in the audibly relieved sigh that emanated from Naruto, and lifted the blanket up to his knees, revealing pale and smooth calves. Yes, he shaved. Hairy legs were such a turn-off.

"Well then," he repeated sensually, lifting up one of his legs and positioning it on one side of the blonde's own, so that Neji's inner thigh was touching Naruto's outer thigh. He smirked and leaned forward, lifting his other leg and placing it by the Uzumaki's other leg, in essence, straddling him. Naruto's breath hitched and, using his keen eyesight (more like peripheral vision), Neji caught sight of a growing bulge between the blonde shinobi's legs. All around him, there was silence as everyone watched silently, hardly daring to breath.

Neji leaned forward and placed his arms right beside Naruto's head, arching his back into the Uzumaki, which earned him several quiet moans from the viewers (voyeurs) and caused Naruto to bite his bottom lip hard. Neji smirked, leaning close to Naruto's ear and let out a soft sigh, making sure his breath fluttered down Naruto's neck. The taller one shivered and his hands jerked slightly, as though he was fighting to keep them still.

"Why don't you push me off, then, Naruto..?" Neji whispered huskily. "If you're not gay, then this shouldn't turn you on." The Hyuuga watched amusedly as Naruto narrowed his eyes in frustration and seemed to retreat into his own little world.

After a moment, and just as Neji was about to remove himself from the blonde's lap, Naruto muttered, "Fuck it," and placed both of his hands right on Neji's ass, making the brunette gasp, and crushed his lips to the Hyuuga's.

Neji smirked into the kiss and pressed back, moaning slightly as the blonde's tongue explored his mouth. He wove his hands into Naruto's hair and jerked, receiving a feral growl from the shinobi, and was rewarded with a tight squeeze to his posterior. The Hyuuga was quite aware that the blanket was getting looser as the lip lock continued, so he pulled away and removed Naruto's hands from his blanket-covered backside. He grinned when he saw the Uzumaki's look of disappointment. Quickly pulling the blanket back up, Neji pushed himself up and took a few steps back, forming hand signs rapidly. A moment later, a clothed Neji stood before them all, grinning cruelly.

Everyone watched him stupidly, their minds a little slow after the…entertainment the Hyuuga just provided them.

Shino was the first to recover, as he leaned back and smirked at them all, shaking his head amusedly. Looking up at Neji in amused reverence, he said laughingly,

"Cut, print, gay."

* * *

**............No idea where the hell this came from. I guess the only thing I can say is that I was extremely high, drunk or stoned when I wrote this, I'm not sure which.**

**Don't flame if you don't like, just calmly click the friendly 'Back' button and leave quietly. If you do like this...well then, you and I can probably relate really well. ;)**


End file.
